Spreading the love (and by love I mean catchy apocalyptic ditty)

The next time someone asks me what I like about my MFA program, I'm showing them this video. It's a song one of my classmates wrote and performed for his final presentation in Apocalypses. I'd never seen anyone get a standing ovation on a class presentation before, but man, he earned it.

For your viewing pleasure, here is Philip Simondet performing "In Case of Apocalypse, Break Glass."



The lyrics cover pretty much every end of the world scenario we studied in class, and then some.

Some unknown but fateful day, according to Revelation
all the angels up in Heaven will sing in celebration
for the time will have finally come for the great apocalypse
and as Jesus descends from the clouds, he'll look around
and say, "Hey, what the abyss?"

Because by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide
In pursuit of more wealth
with no regard for our health
we will all destroy the earth
and poison ourselves
An asteroid will smash the earth
if the volcanoes don't scorch it first
or maybe we'll just die of thirst
I'm not quite sure which is worse
But the ozone will be gone
something will go wrong
or maybe it will be World War III
where someone drops the bomb
But by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide

And though He will find himself on the planet all alone
He'll reign God's wrath down anyway, for it has been foretold
but every bowl and seal and trumpet blast won't be heard by anyone
and the horsemen will grow bored so fast, 'cause one fourth of none is none
Forget about 144,000 - there won't be a Jew to find
and no one to take the mark of the Beast, because no one will be...left behind

Because by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide
An AI robot mutiny
will wipe out every human being
or accumulating DDT will cause infertility
and if the aliens do come to
do whatever aliens do
we will surely succumb to
some crazy alien flu
And the ozone will be gone
something will go wrong
or maybe it will be World War III
where someone drops the bomb
But by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide

Now, this next little bit doesn't really fit,
but I think it's an allegory
so when you think of it, it's really quite a bit
like the Watchmen's pirate story
If you believe Ray Kurtzweil, everything will turn out well
when man becomes man-chine
and then the nano-bots, those glorious wee robots
will magically fix everything
And according to exponential boom, this oughtta happen pretty soon
Well, I don't mean to bubble-burst
but if you ask me, I think that we
will probably run out of oil first

And then by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide
In pursuit of more wealth
with no regard for our health
we will all destroy the earth
and poison ourselves
An asteroid will smash the earth
if the volcanoes don't scorch it first
or maybe we'll just die of thirst
I'm not quite sure which is worse
An AI robot mutiny
will wipe out every human being
or accumulating DDT will cause infertility
and if the aliens do come to
do whatever aliens do
we will surely succumb to
some crazy alien flu
But the ozone will be gone
something will go wrong
or maybe it will be World War III
where someone drops the bomb
But by the time He arrives
we will already have died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide

Yes, by the time He arrives
we will all have surely died
by some genocide or suicide
spread out the whole world wide
The whole world dies


This was easily the most enjoyable class I've ever taken. Great people, fascinating topics, and lots of freedom to pursue projects of interest. I love this program.